Back to School

I was extremely nervous when I woke up this morning, but today was one of the brightest I've had. I was greeted with warm smiles and tons of hugs from my kiddies and co-workers. Of course I started boohooing. They each presented me with a sweet card. They asked a lot of questions and stared a lot, especially the older ones. Overall, it was a great day and I'm looking forward to getting back in the swing of things. I think working will be a big part of the healing process.

I think about our sweet baby girl every minute of the day, but know she's in a better place now. September 19 was the best day of my life, but also the worst. We received her death certificate in the mail today, which made things seem so final. I have so many questions....I still wake up every morning and think it was a bad nightmare, but its not. Mornings and evenings are the hardest. I've been walking a lot, trying to clear my head. I do know good things are in store for us and God has a plan. I truly believe Baby Girl Hardin saved my life that day. We will get through this....We are committed!! My heart no longer pounds and the swelling has gone down (according to Laura). I've spent a lot of hours on the net researching Pre-eclampsia and have learned soooo much about the dangers and what could have happened.

I've had 2 dreams about my close friend Jay Fullerton, who died in April 2000 of congenital liver disease. The first one he was on stage, winking at me, singing Whitney Houston's, "Queen of the Night." The next one he was a young child, sitting at a desk. I walked by him and he gave me this comforting smile. I truly believe he's speaking to me and letting me know everything is going to be ok. We put some of Baby Girl Hardin's ashes on my Grandpa's grave last Saturday. I know he's rocking and singing Bye oh Baby to her :)